Whoops! I got a bit side-tracked, but here I am! Last you heard from me I was half a month into my second to last semester of college, I’d ran my first 10k race, and I was working on my big senior seminar project of creative nonfiction essays. I’ve now finished the semester, ran another 10k and a sprint triathlon, and I wrote seven essays that considered intersections of identity, place, community, and non-community while reflecting on this middle part of the pandemic. *big sigh*
And I’ve done other things too! I recently was named a Mitchell Scholar and will be moving to Northern Ireland in September to complete a one year masters in Public History at Queen’s University Belfast. The scholarship pays for my tuition, accomodation, and even comes with a living/travel stipend of over $1,000 every month I’m there. Crazy!
My original plan was to apply to PhD programs in addition to the Mitchell Scholarship, but every time I started working on my applications I just felt dread set in. It didn’t feel right. I kept waiting and waiting, hoping at some point I’d feel more sure about my PhD apps, and at the same time, I kept getting invited to the next round of Mitchell interviews. Before I knew it it was November and I had somehow been selected as one of 20 finalists. I was up alongside 18-29 year olds, many of whom were Ivy graduates and doing incredible things like being youth poet laureates and writing for the NYT and developing astronaut tools— you know, casual things that young people do. I’d be lying if I said I was not wrecked with imposter syndrome for the couple of weeks before my last interview.
Only 12 people are selected for the scholarship, and after an intense 20 minute interview I had 7 hours on the deadest weekend at school before Thanksgiving break to find out if I’d been selected or not. Thank goodness, my friend Emilee scooped me and kept me busy for a while, toting me around to get food and browse Target and try ciders at Pour. They told us if we got an email, we didn’t get it, but if we got a phone call, it was good news. I was losing hope around 7:30 when I finally got a call from a D.C. number. I probably looked crazy running out of Pour to answer the call, then standing outside for 20 minutes while I called all of my family members.
In looking back, it seems like that feeling of dread I’d get right as I opened my applications was probably my gut knowing it wasn’t the right time for me, and that something better was in the works. A saying I heard a lot growing up was, “Everything that’s meant to be, will be.” This has become my affirmation of the year and I find it easier to trust and feel confidence in myself as I remember this.
At the beginning of the year I ran for Student Body President after changing the constitution to allow for more flexible inclusive eligibility rules. I faced challenge after challenge, but something about it just felt like it was meant to be. And after petitioning the student body, changing the constitution, and running a successful campaign, it was meant to be. Around the same time, I won a leadership award for fearless speech and action, I was inducted into the most honorable leadership society for Furman women, and became a Newman Civic Fellow— and all of this was before May!
In the past week as I’ve been able to announce my news about the Mitchell Scholarship and my selection as one of Furman’s five Furman Fellows (a big shoutout to my roommate, Riley, who also was selected!!), a couple of people have said to me, “You have had such a big year!” And each time it took me a little bit by surprise— I guess I hadn’t taken much time to process it all, because my year has felt like such a whirlwind, and at times like I was just trying to keep my feet on the ground in a tornado. From trying to navigate college through this middle part of the pandemic, managing FOMO and other discomfort heightened by social media, and just trying to figure out what brings me joy/makes me feel truly alive (as just a few examples of the hard things)— Whew! Yes, it has been a big year!
And I’m finally taking my time to rest and celebrate all that has happened during the year over winter break. This is my first break from school since last winter break, as I went straight from spring semester into Maymester, then summer orientation and research, and then right back into fall semester. I am spending my time with my family, watching lots of mindless TV series (new Gossip Girl, season 4 of Dynasty, The Sex Lives of College Girls… anyone? anyone?), and best of all, sleeping in! (I told my family weeks ago that upon arriving home I was required to be absolutely useless all of winter break.)
Oh! and what would a You’ve Got Asha newsletter be without some recommendations! As I finished my big creative writing project (which I got an A on!) my favorite book was Here for It by R. Eric Thomas. If you’re looking for something funny, yet touching and powerful, definitely pick up a copy. I did not love the King Richard movie, but I did love the end-credit song, Be Alive by Beyonce. You can listen to it on this playlist of the songs that got me through the last couple of days of finals:
I think that’s all I’ve got for you guys. Thanks for reading my newsletter! Maybe I’ll check in with you next month?… we’ll just have to see!
xo, Asha