Oh, man. I have left you all hanging for quite a while! Last you’d heard from me, I was wrapping up the year and a few weeks from beginning my last semester of college. I now write to you as a Furman University Alum! I graduated a few weeks ago Cum Laude with my B.A. in my self-designed major of Advocacy and Justice Studies and a minor in Poverty Studies.
In truth, my absence from your inbox has been instigated by the tumultuous and totally bittersweet events of my final semester. I am leaving my alma mater with a reputation of outspoken, sometimes controversial leadership. I committed to speaking and standing up for marginalized students and I have never apologized for this, even when it has made me unpopular amongst certain groups of students or caused administrators to try to intimidate me into complicity or silence. One day, maybe, I will publish the list I kept track of throughout the year of all of the microaggressions I faced as a Black female student leader from white students and administration. Phew.
Even as I was accepting leadership and academic awards, some of them the highest awards bestowed upon students, I was facing an unsubstantiated student conduct violation claim from a student who blamed me for their own disappointment in the loss of their friends, positions in student clubs, and overall decline in their feelings of belonging on campus following a rape accusation. I refused to work with an organization the student was connected with while organizing an event for sexual assault survivors so long as his name was on the invite list. The leader of the organization doubled down on his invitation despite his connection to sexual assault and the raising of concern from a number of students. I communicated my reasoning for hosting an event separate from the organization I was previously working with via social media without naming the student, but because some students could connect the dots on who I was talking about, he claimed harassment. The conduct office entertained this claim for 80+ days: interviewing over 40 people in connection to the claim and creating a 500+ page investigative report, all for the student to admit in front of the hearing board (which would make a decision of responsibility that could have threatened my future) he could not blame me for the things he’d claimed. I cannot begin to tell you what a waste of time and energy the process was— the lack of transparency, the lack of support, the attempts to silence— leaving me four days of peace before my graduation. Four. There is much to say about the torment and failure of university systems, like conduct and Title IX, that are supposed to provide justice and healing for students who have been truly harmed. I have watched these systems fail friend after friend, and even be weaponized and abused by students who wish to hurt others. I have seen the lengths people in power at my alma mater will go to protect wealthy white male students, specifically, but will only ever support women, BIPOC, or other marginalized students in action-less symbolic ways. I reject the narrative that my alma mater is a place of progress, support, of community while people in power actively deny justice to survivors and marginalized students. I am also aware that this is not just a Furman problem— it is one that exists at many, if not a majority, of academic institutions in the U.S.
And still, through this, I am more sure than ever about the power of community. If there is one thing I did right during my four years at Furman it was building a very strong system of support via relationships with faculty and students. From surprising me every few miles at my half marathon in February to spending Spring Break in Chicago to frantically wiping leeches off each other’s butts as we participated in the senior tradition of getting into the fountains… the sweetness of these past 5 months has undeniably been in the time I’ve gotten to spend with my friends and in building powerful relationships with my mentors.
So, maybe you’re wondering what’s next for me? All attempts to fill my summer with one commitment or another have been blocked (thankfully!) by the universe. I’m indulging in a kind of sabbath— something that feels admittedly a bit foreign and slightly challenging to me.
In September, a few days after I turn 22, I will be moving to Belfast, Northern Ireland where I will be getting a fully-funded Masters degree in Public History at Queen’s University Belfast as a George J. Mitchell Scholar. I’ll be in Belfast until the end of the summer of 2023 as I’ll be writing a 20,000 word dissertation (yikes!) I would like to spend a year or two working directly with community members before going to get my PhD to become a professor. But until my Frederick Douglass year (That’s what I’m calling my year in Ireland as a number of Black thinkers have run off to Europe for a bit, and Douglass specifically to Ireland), I will be spending time with my family, finishing Harry Potter (I’m just beginning book #7, yes, reading for the first time), running (marathon in April *side eye emoji*), and taking at least one nap a day.
The lessons of balance, specifically in regards to prioritizing rest for wellbeing has been the hardest for me to learn, accept, and implement into my life. In the last months of college, the only twinges of regret I felt were anchored in my complete lack of creating adequate space for rest— I thought if I said no to one thing that was enforcing “good enough” boundaries on my time and energy. It almost never was. The lesson I’m carrying with me into post-grad life is that busyness and hustle-culture is not sustainable and will never bring true joy. Life calls for much more time in the sun. Much more time laying. Much more time laying in the sun! Here’s to the nap ministry!
That’s all for now. Talk soon!
Asha.
Very important thing before ya go:
Rankings of the HP series (without Deathly Hollows because I haven’t finished it) from least to most favorite: Chamber of Secrets (#2), Prisoner of Azkaban (#3), Sorcerers Stone (#1), Goblet of Fire (#4), Order of the Phoenix (#5), and Half Blood Prince (#6). I will gladly take opinions and debates on this. :)